There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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