Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize