the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
