Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
