i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It's never too late to be topless.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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