So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
