i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
