why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
