What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
