he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize