Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
