just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
