hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
