Rock
Scissors
Fuck
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize