I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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