idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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