Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We need a shit load of segways right now
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
