Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
