Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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