I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
