I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize