i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
