i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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