We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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