I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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