we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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