when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
