I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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