why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
