Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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