I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
it glows. i had to have it.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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