I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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