i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
