No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
