Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
