Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
