That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
