I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She bit a glass in half.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
