please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
