I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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