how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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