Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
