I have demons in me.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
My ATM looks so different sober.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
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