You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
The ass gains better be worth it
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