She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize