Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
