i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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