I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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