winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
