we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize