I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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