she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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