There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
