Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
