watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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