What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
