That's intense
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
God I need to hump something, right now.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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