who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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