plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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