i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
this hospital has no fireball
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize