Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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