is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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