white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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