Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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