I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
