About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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